The U.S. Surgeon General issued an 80 page advisory last year on a new epidemic: loneliness. Among the many facts in this advisory is one that really hit me: Lack of social connection impacts our physical well-being and increases the risk of early death just as much as smoking 15 cigarettes a day! Yikes.

This year, Dr. Murthy issued another advisory: Parents Under Pressure. The world around us is changing faster than ever and parents in our nation are facing serious mental health and well-being challenges. As a local family educator, I wanted to share some of the things we can do to help families and children connect with others and get the support they need.  Taking care of children is probably the most important job in the world; we all should care deeply about parents.

I am offering several WeCOPE series in the coming months along with my colleagues. This FREE 6-session series is aimed at helping folks connect with their positive emotions. We provide a tool box of mindfulness and simple de-stressing techniques that any adult can use to feel better. Contact our office to learn how to sign up. Classes begin in October and run through November 2024.

What Parents and Caregivers Can Do to Build Connection

Parents and caregivers play an important role in forming and shaping social connection. Here are some tips I’ve adapted from Dr. Murthy’s recent Advisory.

• Make time in your busy day to focus on building a strong, secure attachment to your child. Sing, read, play, or even do chores side by side. Listen to your child. These key early relationships are protective and a good foundation for other healthy relationships. Put screens away at meals and ask about what was good today or what was hard.
• Model healthy social connection, resolving conflicts respectfully. Spend time with others, staying in regular contact with extended family, friends, and neighbors, setting time aside for socializing away from technology or social media, and participating in community events. Building community takes time and effort but the dividends are long-lasting and powerful.
• Help children develop safe and stable relationships with supportive adults besides their parents. Think about connecting more with grandparents, teachers, coaches, counselors, and mentors. Ideally children have 5 other adults besides their own parents with whom they feel safe and respected and cared for.
• Children need friends their own age so encourage their individual friendships, and social activities that involve meeting new people like 4-H, sports, religious activities, or programs that involve working with others to achieve a common goal.  
• If possible, get children to focus on face-to-face interactions with other people. Delay the age at which children join social media platforms and monitor and decrease screen time in favor of positive, in-person, connection building activities. UW Extension has some digital tips for little ones that can be found here: https://parenting.extension.wisc.edu/eparenting-little-ones/?ss_redir=1
• Keep an eye out for and reduce behaviors and experiences that could reduce real social connection, including bullying and excessive or harmful social media use.  Check out this page for tips on dealing with tweens and teens: https://parenting.extension.wisc.edu/teens-tweens/

• Talk to your children about social connection regularly to understand if they are struggling with loneliness or isolation, to destigmatize talking about these feelings, and to create space for children to share their perspectives and needs. 
• If needed, you may want to help your child connect to counselors, educators, and health care providers if they are struggling with loneliness, isolation, or unhealthy relationships. Or, you may need to get yourself, as a caregiver, more support by connecting with professionals yourself. If you are getting help, you can normalize that process for your children by not hiding the good work you are doing to help yourself.

Remember, no one exists in a bubble. Humans are designed to need connection.  Those that can create and hold onto community often find themselves better situated to survive challenges. Your friends and neighbors can help you feel less stressed and more adapted to the new reality we all face right now.

Let me know how I can support you!